Easter Post!

What an exciting Easter weekend me and Sabella had. (:

She got some clothes, books, and a teddy bear from the 'Easter Bunny'... I got some chocolate. Haha. She didn't really notice anything going on (except when my sister put bunny ears on her) but today she got to wear one of the new dresses she got! So cute!

But the main thing I want to write about today is... oh, how strange my little girl is! Well, not strange, it's cute though, how she does this thing that she gets her blanket's (but only four of the ones she has she does this to) up around her face so it's touching her cheek... She won't sleep anymore unless she has one of her four favorite blankets touching her cheek!

This is how she cuddles with her blankets!

It's so cute, but kinda strange. (She's even doing it as I type while she's snoozing away.) It's not even just while she's sleeping, she does it when she's awake too if she's doing anything but playing, and she fusses if the blanket isn't touching her cheek. She's also figured out how to, when she's asleep in her bed, get two of her blankets to touch one of each of her cheeks!

It kinda confuses me, but as long as it soothes her and makes her happy, that's all that I really care about! She's also been sleeping a lot better since she started doing it, which is so awesome for me, since she usually only sleeps for a few hours at a time - even at night - and since she started doing this blanket thing, she sleeps for six or seven hours at night! So nice to be able to finally sleep for more than just a few hours at a time!

We're going to visit her dad on Friday, which I'm looking forward to, since she really doesn't get to see him very much (this will be her fourth visit since she was born, and she's three months old tomorrow!) She even has some special outfits to wear! Both she got for Easter, but one says, "Daddy's little cutie" on it, and the other one says "Daddy's little island girl". So awesome, I can't wait for him to see them!

But that's all I really have to write about for now... especially since I need to go do some housework now...

Have a good night, readers. (:

What a Boring Life we Live

So... I had an issue with my birth control the other day that left me temporarily paralyzed on the right side of my body, so I haven't been able to hold Bella at all the past two days, so I really have nothing to blog about, since my parents have been babysitting her for me.

But here's a picture of my little angel that my mum took today.

Sabella Katrynaa, 12 weeks, 2 days

And that's about it, I suppose.

So I hope anyone reading has an awesome night. :)

Lovely!

Today was a great day... really!

This morning I arranged to purchase a new camera, secondhand (since the one I had been using was a pile of turd) and went to pick it up this afternoon... love it! I was always told to have a great camera when you have a baby, and man is that ever true! So many things I want to capture in pictures and videos, and my old camera just made everything blurry, and couldn't take videos! So sad. But now my new one is great, and I can't wait to start snapping photos of my precious baby as she grows older! I've already taken a few today, but I've yet to upload them to my computer, so next time I make a blog post hopefully I'll post a picture or two of her. (:

What else... I opened my blogger account to see I had a large amount of views more than I did last time I was on... that was really nice to see... I didn't think anyone actually was ever going to look at this, but it makes me feel great even if people are just looking at it in passing!

Sabella's teething again, which isn't really so great... she'd stopped for about... four days maybe? But just started again tonight... my poor baby. It took hours to get her to fall asleep because she was so miserable she just kept crying, and it made her so overtired that she was just grumpy anyways! So now she's asleep in her swing, with her buckets of drool and her rosy cheeks. I'm just waiting for her to wake up for her next bottle, (very, very patiently, since I want her to sleep for awhile longer!) She's just all snuggled up in her favorite faux mink blanket that her Grandma gave her. So cute... hopefully she sleeps for long so she's not hurting when she wakes up!!

Her dad's being really awesome now, and he's offered to pay for her formula every month, which is awesome, since it's sooo expensive for me, especially since I'm trying to save up to go to college! Not sure if I've written about this already (I'm tired...) but I have to save up a ridiculous amount of money before September or so in order to be able to go, since my mum has no money saved for me, and my dad doesn't want to let me use the money he has saved since he has three other kids to help with college... even though two of them are 5 and under, and my 16 year old sister (who also has a baby) doesn't actually want to go to college. (Or so she said the last time I checked.) Kinda ridiculous, but oh well. Just gotta find a way (probably gonna end up being student loans) to save 13 thousand dollars before September so I can go take the aesthetics courses I want to take!! I really hope I'll be able to do it... I want it so bad!!

I went for two walks with Sabella today... it was really nice! She enjoys going out for walks, she loves to look around at everything. I need to be sure to take her out for walks, more. They make her so happy... (:

I think that's about all I wanted to write about today, though...
So I hope anyone reading has an awesome day. :D
LOTS OF LOVE from Sabella and I! (:

Friends...

Not a lot happened, today... the highlight of the day was that my mum hung up Sabella's mobile over her crib. It's Pooh Bear, and has Winnie, Piglet, Eeyore, and Tigger. (So it matches her room!) But we had her in her crib and turned it on so it sang and spun, and boy did she ever love it! I'm not sure I've ever seen her enjoy something - especially in her crib - so much! She was smiling, cooing, and trying to grab it for like... an hour! When my mum finally took her out (because we were going to the store) she started screaming and crying, she wanted to be looking at it again! My poor little girl!

But she totally exhausted herself today, she refused to sleep except when we were driving around... she was so overtired, but still didn't want to sleep, but I eventually got her to fall asleep three or so hours ago... SO good, considering she was so overtired she just kept screaming and screaming! Always breaks my heart seeing my babygirl upset like that!

But that was about the extent of Sabella's day with me, so that's really all I have to write about!

Oh, but last night, she slept the longest she's ever slept before... almost 7 hours!! SO nice considering most of the nights lately she's only been sleeping for about twenty minutes at a time! Loved having some extra sleep!

Hope it's bright and sunny in the world tomorrow! (:

Silence!

For the first time in what feels like forever, my house is actually quiet. (Well, excluding the clicking of my keyboard!)

My precious little Sabella is sound asleep, in her crib thankfully, my parents are sleeping, my sister and her baby aren't here, and nothing else is going on. No music, no TV's, nothing. It's so... amazing. Peaceful. It kinda makes me miss the times I had before Sabella, when I was home alone and there could just be nothing going on, I could just lay in bed for hours and think, or basically do whatever.

I love having her around, but sometimes I wish I could just put HER on pause and have a few hours where my thoughts weren't clouded by, "When does Bella need to eat", or "Is she awake? Am I going to need to go get her soon?"

Right on cue, she's awake now. (:

Later: Now, twenty minutes later, I'm back... someone needed a bottle and some cuddles before she fell back asleep! She's still a tad bit restless, but on her way to sleeping... I hope!

One of the hardest things for me, as a mom, is listening to her fussing over the monitor and thinking, "I can't go to her yet, if I go to her right now, she's going to eventually learn to be spoiled." Kills me sometimes to hear her upset and know I can't just go to her the second she makes a sound!!

But on the other hand, after letting her fuss for a minute or two, when I go to help her with whatever she wants, she's so happy to see me, which I totally love!

On another note, I got a break today, which was nice... my step-dad watched Sabella for a few (nay, 7) hours so me and my mum could go have some girl time without toting a baby around... as much as I love her, it's SO nice to get out sometimes! We went to the mall, did some shopping, and saw the Hunger Games, which we've both been DYING to see since we read the books... but I never imagined how much I'd miss Sabella being gone from her for so long! It was the first time since I gave birth that I was away from her for more than just a few hours. I was SO excited to see her when I got home, I didn't even get some of my stuff out of the vehicle, I just grabbed what I could and ran in so I could hold her!

The last thing on my mind today would be that, dang, I really, REALLY HATE being a single (teen) mom sometimes! Not entirely for the baby-aspect, but because it's so hard to date... every guy I meet seems to either not want to date a mom, just wants to 'fool around' with a mom, or is a jerk-face. At the end of April, it will have been a YEAR since I've been in an actual relationship, and I've only been on two dates since then... one with someone who's now a very close friend of mine (and is also a teen parent), and the other turned out - big shock - to be one of the jerk-face guys. (At least that's what it's seeming like right now.) I'm not sure why, but I seem to have a knack for attracting guys who like to get shit-faced (excuse my french) in the middle of the day...

Not like I'm desperate to be in a relationship, but I'm lonely! I have such a tiny amount of a social life now, and I get terribly sad not talking to anyone, or having any intimate contact (I mean hugging and kissing, not the stuff that leads to babies) with anyone. Plus, this gives me such terrible hope for my future... sure, guys will be older in a few years, but I'm doubtful that it will mean they're more mature, or more into dating someone who already has a baby.

Well, maybe this is just a sign I shouldn't be dating...

And maybe my 'battery low' notification on my laptop is a sign this blog post should be done!!

Hope the world is good for everyone else. (:

Teething!!

So Sabella is currently teething. She has been for the past three days, and I'm going INSANE!!!

She's so miserable from all the pain, all she's been doing since she started is scream, and scream, and scream some more. The only time she'll sleep soundly is when I give her tylenol, and even then she only sleeps for a few hours. So in the past three days, I've probably gotten a total of six or seven hours of sleep. I know that's what being a mom is all about, but oh my GOSH is it ever exhausting!! I'm so glad it's the weekend and now I can get some help from my mum and step-dad, otherwise I might have gone insane before the next few days were up.

So tomorrow, I'm getting a break while my step-dad babysits her, and me and my mum are going for a quick shopping trip and maybe a movie, too. (Fingers crossed that we're gonna go see the Hunger Games. :P)

I just hate that her teething came so soon, because she's so little, she can't hold a teething ring or anything, and she doesn't even like the teething ring I've bought for her, so really the only comfort I can give her (other than tylenol) is putting her soothers in the fridge and giving them to her cold, and cuddling her. So that's basically all I've been doing the past few days is cuddling her and rotating her soothers. I haven't even been able to put her down to use the washroom sometimes, because as soon as she notices I'm not holding her anymore, she panics and starts screaming again... to the point where she starts to cough and choke.

So today, once my mum was home from work, I folded three baskets of Bella's laundry, put them away, tidied her bedroom, and put more laundry in the wash. I almost made myself pass out from how much I did in such a small amount of time. But I'm just happy that her room - minus her garbage can and diaper genie - is almost totally clean again.

But there she goes crying again... my step-dad's holding her, but I still  feel like I need to go contribute somehow, so here's the end of this blog post... Hope everyone else (in the whole world...) is having a much better day/s than I am.

I feel so sorry for my poor little girl...

A Virtual Document of Life

Hello... my name's Holly. I'm eighteen, and in January, I gave birth to my daughter Sabella. Even though I'm young, she's my entire world. I really don't know what I'd do without her in my life...

I'm going to use this blog to document Sabella's life, and my life with her. Being a teen mom, I've found out, is definitely not easy. I wasn't expecting it to be. But there's great times through the hardships, and I want to share that with the world, along with all the terrible times that occur.

I'd like to say I'm going to post everyday, because that's maybe what a good 'blogger' would do, but I have a terrible memory, so I'm just going to post when I remember... hopefully at least a few times a week. This is also going to act as a publicized version of my journal... I won't be posting super personal stuff, but I will be posting things about my life that are relevant to Sabella, and have a purpose. (AKA, I won't just post that, "Today was good. I made grilled cheese. I like the moon.")

Let me note, I 100% support the use of birth control... I was on the pill - and using it properly - when I got pregnant, which just proves that nothing is ever totally protecting you. I didn't use a condom - which was stupid, considering I could have gotten an STD (thank the good lord I didn't!) - but that is definitely what I should have done, and maybe if I had, I wouldn't be in the situation I am in right now.

Another note, I would honestly not take back my decisions... first to not get an abortion, then to keep her... but I DO wish that I could have had her at a later time in my life... I had originally wanted to wait to have kids until I was 26. But I love my Bella, and she's my entire world.

I hope you enjoy reading about our lives.